Tour de of Britain, Stage 5. Clacton Time Trial.

The term MOD comes from the French for ‘modified bicycle’. The above ‘modified bicycle’ is ridden by the writer Richard Moore.

Today’s stage was held in the beautiful town of Clact-on-Sea. The peaceful atmosphere of this typical British seaside town ensures that plenty of day trippers visit the area for a stroll along the pier or perhaps to sit on the beach licking an iced cream and wonder what time the amusement arcade closes. This is a far cry from the Clact-on-Sea of over 50 years ago though. On the Easter weekend of 1964 teams of Mods and Rockers descended on the town to engage in some fisty-cuffs and drove the Daily Mail readers of the United Kingdoms of Great Britain into a worried frenzy about the moral fibre of the country’s youth. Luckily their fears were misplaced and we now they have some great institutions such as UKIP and British Cycling holding the country together. The Clact-on-Sea riots weren’t the only flash points involving the Mods and Rockers. There were further skirmishes in Brighton in May 1964 and La Toussuire in July 2012. The spouses of that final battle in 2012 have kept the traditional hostilities alive on Twitter.

Mr Mod Bradley Wiggins-Sir and Rocking, Rolling Mr Chris Froomes are both great time trialists and I asked Mr Bradley for some advice for today’s individual team time trial. He told me on the phone from his castle, “Listen ere Giles, that Chris Froomes aint a good time trialist. Do you know ow many Olympic gold medals e as for it? None! That’s ow many”. It’s good to hear Mr Wiggins-Sir back to his cheerful self. He has lost a bit of his spark recently, perhaps due to a downturn in his popularity. I wonder if he yearns for the life he had during the 2012 Tour de of Britain when the Sun fakenewspaper printed a cut out Bradley Wiggins-Sir TUE certificate.

Lars Anthonius Johannes Sonic Boom won the stage and now holds the Oxo Tour de of Britain leaders Green Malliot Jaune Jersey.


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